The North Face of The Moon

Orson Welles, Ingmar Bergman, Fredrico Fellini, John Luc Goddard and Michael Winner - the director can be an artist responsible more than anyone else in filmmaking for the artistic creation of a film. Auteur theory has taught us to respect these artists and their creations, their beautiful lovingly crafted masterpieces of celluloid, and then there is the TV director. For every Adam Curtis, Molly Dineen or Nick Broomfield there are sadly countless cunts who make worthless reality TV but think their Stanley fucking Kubrick. Sadly I have to deal with directors all to often as they sit slouched in a leather chair in a edit suite on their MacBook (which has to be in black I may add), watching a editor try to save their mess of a television programme while they just sit there shitting it over the impending viewing with their exec. They will be sipping at a cup of cold coffee (they're just too busy to drink it while its hot) and dissapearing every 5 minutes to talk to someone on their Iphone and smoke a Marlborough light. Yet amongst all this mayhem they still find time to get me to wait on them hand and foot and wipe their arse with my own fair hands.

Dressed head to foot in north face and nhs style glasses( if North Face ever want to move into eyewear there is a killing to be made in the media sector) the modern tv director is always ready for action. But why travelling from their home to work they need to wear a jacket designed for trekking through Outer Mongolia I will never know. Or maybe their flash city apartment is located half way up the fucking eiger.