Grimshaw

BBC Radio 1 appears to have a unique talent for uncovering annoying presenters. First we have Jo Wiley, who while thinking shes gods gift to man also likes to lay claim to discovering every artist on the planet. I noticed her drop this trick in while having the displeasure to watch the BBCs new attempt at being down with the kids, Sound (BBC2 Saturday at 17.15). While discussing the artist Robyn ,Wiley laid claim to 'having always liked her' and some other cantankerous lies to make herself her look good - I think when she was born her asshole and her mouth got mixed up and all the shit comes out the wrong end.

So Sound is the programme that is here to fill the saturday night void of Top of The Pops 2. But top of the pops was dated yeah, kids nowadays are like so cool. Well, Sound tries hard to be cool. So so hard. Its edited at such a frenetic pace that watching it makes you feel like someones taken your eyeballs out and put them in a washing machine full of spanners. It fucking hurts. So you've got the cool camera work, so you need some cool presenters yeah. Step forth Grimshaw, cool personified and proud victim of east londons tsunami of fashion.

So whats Grimshaws look? Lumberjack crossed with a shitter version of Morrisey's haircut from his time in the Smiths. Very dissapointing I'm sure you'll agree but no doubt all the little brats in Universitys across the country will start immitating him. Also being northern, he will no doubt end up being the 'new' Vernon Kay, now that hes settled into middle age entertaining the Pikeys on ITV1 of a Saturday night and saying how 'stonking' everything is all the time. I bet all the execs across the country are dripping at the prospect of this man and who can be the first to tie him up on a golden handjob. Prepare yourself for complete saturation; I point to the trends we've already been through - Kay Hole, Dermot O'Leary, that Bristolian Yeti, Russell Brand, Jimmy Carr, Tony fucking Slattery............................................................

So if you get the chance to switch off sound please do, and save us from a terminator style apocolaypse of a future.