Mrs.Robinson

Last week a new edit started bringing with it big problems. I was in Edit 4 (the Fincham suite) replenishing the stationary and fruit bowls when she burst through the door. The ice maiden cometh, one seriously obnoxious series producer had arrived in my world. She radiated power; I've never seen my boss brown nose any client this bad, which meant she must be trouble. Usually, he'd get me to do the dirty work.

Having carved a highly successful career producing what can only be described as televisual turds, this woman has all the personal phone numbers of every top exec in town. It seems her pursuit of success has sadly drained all positive human qualities from her. No one is safe from her venomous tongue, and she instantly appointed me as her personal slave. Meekly I walk into the edit to deliver her skinny Latte (10 am on the dot or heads will roll), and I never escape without a raft of personal requests for mein feuhrer. Nothing is asked, its demanded and it’s more important than anything else in the world right now. Time after time teaching her how to play the cut on the Avid when the editor is on lunch (just hit the fucking space bar!) or spending hours to no avail to get the wireless connection to work on her Macbook. Rarely does she crack a smile - until she finds an excuse to look at my ass. She seems to have developed a strange fascination with this part of my body that usually gets little to no female interest. Perhaps I should be flattered apart from the fact she makes me feel sick and scares the shit out of me.

Could I use this to my advantage? If I sleep with this woman will it further my career? Maybe. Could it be like Mrs Robinson in the Graduate? But what would the consequences entail? I could end up being her gimp, receiving 'booty calls' at untold hours. Plus I'd probably have to sign a release form to ensure her confidentiality. She’s also started staying behind late and is requesting me to 'stay and help her' this Friday. I really don't know what to do, this could go wrong either way.

So how do I give her the brush off? The girls are used to the male directors lusting over them - its disgusting and bordering sexual harassment, but why does it seem more acceptable when the boots on the other foot (and extremely funny to the entire facilities team?). Whatever I do I'm the laughing stock of the facility. Maybe I should stand up to this woman, pull up my low slung Carhaarts and say "Sorry but I've got 12 hours digitising to get through I'll have to send someone else to help you."

Or I could just wait till Monday. When a new runner begins. Normally in TV you have to worry about anyone who is younger, better looking and will work for less money than you do, but I might be able to use him to my advantage. When the booty call comes in from the Fincham suite, I'll know just who to send up.