More dispatches from the front line of development....

More from the pages of our development guru's ideas book. Apart from one that I've made up, answers on a postcard and the first correct answer wins a 'milk and two fucking sugars!' T Shirt.

Pete Doherty In Afghanistan

Pete’s been a bad boy splashed over the pages of the tabloids with his battle against heroin. In this groundbreaking documentary he will explore the origins of the drug he knows so well, tracing it back to the poppy fields of Afghanistan. Here he will meet British troops fighting the Taliban, members of local law enforcement, drug lords and the farmers who grow the simple crop that has ended up in his arm so many times in the past. Controversial yes, emotive certainly, Bafta I should bloody think so! (If Doherty is still too stoned, Brand will do).

Amy Winehouse and Friends

Live from Camden’s infamous Hawley Arms public house Amy Winehouse chats with an audience and guests completely made up of people she has met while fucked off her tits. Each week a band or singer will perform a uniquely ironic cover version. First up 19 year old sensation Adele (she’s 19 by the way) with a version of Amy’s song Rehab. Jo Whiley will be on hand at all times in case an emergency dose of sycophancy is needed.

Come Dine with Vine

Jeremy Vine invites celebrities and listeners of his popular Radio 2 lunchtime moanfest, round to his home (actually a Nigella style studio). Jeremy and guests will put the world to rights over a light bite to eat.

Greenbelt

The Coast team move inland and expore the most affluent middle class areas of the UK. Bill Oddie joins the team to do a live bird watch from the end of a stockbrokers drive.

Jamies Milk Shake Up

After the successful chicken season, Jamie turns his hand to exposing the truth about dairy products and the treatment of Cows in the farming industry. Expect bleeding udders and shocking facts about the pasteurisation processes involved in the creation of smart price cheddar.

Noel's Arks 6 x 60 Sky One

Documentary following Noel Edmunds in his quest to refurbish decommissioned prison ships for low income families to live in. Think Noel could be just right to be the proles Kevin McCloud. (Kevin might just go for it himself and could pitch to C4)

Coca Popped

Alex James inadvertently destroys all the Coca plants in Columbia with a bacteria contained in a box of goat cheeses, innocently given to the President as a present during his recent trip to the country with Panorama.

Ben Fogel’s Wet Dreams

Adventure addict Ben is always looking for a new challenge, and having done the Atlantic with Cracknel what’s next? The pacific in a pedlo that’s what! But here’s the twist - no athlete companion this time round, but a member of the public chosen by Ben from a group of complete amateurs. Once chosen he will only have a week to get them fully prepared to join his attempt at aquatic glory.