A few years back in the dawn of reality television, while big brother was just a twinkling in endemol's eye and Wife Swap was making a name for RDF television, so began the nightmare we live in today. The first fashion to begin was DIY shows. DIY SOS, Changing Rooms, that crap one on ITV where they decorated a house in a hour (if you can't remember it its as shit as it sounds) and the more hi-brow Grand Designs for the Telegraph readers of the world. Slowly these petered out, Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen left our screens and Nick Knowles has hiked his undeserved fame onto the pointless National Lottery crap on a Saturday night (Why can't we just have the numbers, ALL WE NEED IS THE NUMBERS!!). Poor old Anna Ryder-Richardson has had to resort to resurrecting her falling star on the annual twat-fest I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! My heart bleeds for her. It really, really does.
What they should have done is become Chefs! Chefs and food in general are in fashion. The rise of the Chefs is plain for all to see. Now Oliver I can handle. Ramsay to an extent. Masterchef passible. But then they dropped saturday morning kids shows to have a chef off on ITV and BBC1. Overkill begins. But I could handle it. Until now. Just take a look at the schedule today: BBC1 09.15 Whats Really in our food? BBC2 1630 Food Poker, 2000 Oz and James Big Wine Adventure, 2030 Uncharasmatic food robot
Heston Blumenthal slow cooking a curry for five years, Cooking The Books at 1830 on Channel Five (with some talking piece of wood from Hollybollocks presenting) and to round off this feast of television
Old Leatherface gets his potty mouth out at 2100 on Channel 4 to whip some kitchen into shape in his inimitable style. With my calculations thats 5 hours of TX time across the terrestrial channels dedicated to the same fucking show in different wrapping.
Food poker - FOOD FUCKING POKER! This is quite possibly the straw that broke the camels back. Up pops that bloke who gets in the disguises on Rogue Traders to deal the cards to the best chefs in the country, I shit you not they've replaced the standard playing cards we've been used too since time began in favour of cards with a different ingredient. The chefs are dealt a hand and then have to come up with a dish from this. Where have we heard this before I wander?? Just look at the time slot and get your green peppers and red tomatoes out.
Do people actually enjoy making this toss? Is this the creative outlet they desire? If I want to cook I'll stick to books, where I have a choice about how many recipes I ram into my head every day. So when this runs its course whats next? God help us all.
A few years back in the dawn of reality television, while big brother was just a twinkling in endemol's eye and Wife Swap was making a name for RDF television, so began the nightmare we live in today. The first fashion to begin was DIY shows. DIY SOS, Changing Rooms, that crap one on ITV where they decorated a house in a hour (if you can't remember it its as shit as it sounds) and the more hi-brow Grand Designs for the Telegraph readers of the world. Slowly these petered out, Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen left our screens and Nick Knowles has hiked his undeserved fame onto the pointless National Lottery crap on a Saturday night (Why can't we just have the numbers, ALL WE NEED IS THE NUMBERS!!). Poor old Anna Ryder-Richardson has had to resort to resurrecting her falling star on the annual twat-fest I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! My heart bleeds for her. It really, really does.
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